New places, New faces, Things I LOVE, But that always seem to terrify me didn't this time. It was an experience of a lifetime, And moments to always remember.
It started off by a sleepless night (Nothing unusual there tho) On top of that me driving the farthest on my own I've ever gone, Which was to my surprise, fairly easy. Until I pulled into the wrong complex and not only walked but drove around in circles for what seemed like a life time. But timing worked out perfectly in the end so no complaints.
This is kind of personal, and although I'm trying to stay away from that, I need to mention it.
I Haven't been out by Tampa since before my aunt died, And the nostalgic feelings I've held onto, But escaped for years came flooding back to me. It's funny tho because at a few points in this trip, Even Tim had those un explainable nostalgic feelings. Mine had a reason though. Which wasn't such a bad thing really.
For a moment I was a little hyped up kid that saw the mickey ears, And the dinosaurs, And thought "Rocky's close"..... I just let myself get lost in the music and the moment. Which worked, And In an instant I was okay again, With some of the people who truly mean most to me.
James passed the frick out in the back, And Tim air guitar-ing & singing along to songs we enjoy. I even did some of that myself! I guess you could say I made a pretty great copilot.
That's where I got my first senses of belonging. A sense of love, life, and family That never made much sense to me. Or felt like this until now. It's like all that's happened to me was leading up until this point.
Give or take the situations obviously. James doesn't have to sleep forever. He's a pretty funny and chill dude. Who added to the mix of greatness.
Although I was very in and out of this feeling, It'll happen again. It just has to. Moments like this will be my life one day. I got the taste of the tour life, Just like I've always wanted. And now there's no going back.
I want it more than anything, And although it's not very possible. I'll never lose my grips on fighting to make it happen. I understand just how hard it is, and see that it's more than just a bunch of fun and games. And I still want to work my a$$ off for it.
The driving part of the trip itself was perfection, for me at least. In those moments, mostly on the way back, I'd catch myself zoning out because I couldn't grasp the moment. at least not while it was all happening. I got thrown into so much at once, And although I loved every second of it, I kept feeling lost....
But now that i'm reflecting on it, I'm looking back thinking damn son who was that person???? I no longer feel the need to filter myself, Or ever over think things When I'm around the Tkw FamBam. And now i'm even less inclined to do things like that when they're not around.
But, When you ignore emotions, good or bad, and mask yourself everyday, you'd understand It's pretty mesmerizing when you're not doing so. And Know that it'll catch up with you eventually. And that it did, nearing the end of the night And, through out the last day once total exhaustion hit.
I got really emotional for no reason so many times during this trip. I guess I was just really happy. I've ever spent this much time with them, And I saw sides I've never seen before. And in return they got the same from me. By the end of the night I was Basically Just a dang hot mess. Minus the hot. I did get sun burned tho. If that counts for anything Both days I ended up red and on fire. Mostly from in the car too, Like what the heck. Darn you sunshine state.
I expected ft Myers and this venue to be in a hopping city, But it was quite actually the opposite. The only thing that seemed to be around was a win dixie, And a few small businesses. Like what the hick? Did I really travel all this way to be back in a heck town like good ole Debary??? Guess that's why a venue is needed there. Not much else to do, Besides the beach. Which we didn't take the time to see, But hope to next time around. We were close enough to smell it at a few points tho.
Hahha all jokes aside. The venue was like a play ground. And I'm hopeful to make the trip back out there once they finish doing their add on's and bringing out it's potential. Not having a bar there, Or places to sit was lame and sucky. But the building and sound were nice.
The crowd took advantage of this, And ended up smashing a hole in the wall.
Despite there being plenty of room to jump and kick around without destroying anything.
Besides maybe the people around you hahah.
To be honest I've never been to a show like this, I thought People only joked about acting like that at shows. Like the "pop punk" Or "straight edge" kids...
(Just an example, Because the music wasn't labeled as that)
is there even an actual word for people who think it's fun to kick/ beat the living hell out of each other? And jump around like idiots. I guess the only word that covers it is moshing. Or crowd killing.
No judgements, I think the emotional outlet of it is phenomenal. But don't expect me to ever catch me in a pit like that. I'm a whimp, And I literally burst into tears when nudged some times. I kept having to run around to escape them, I was scared I'd drop my camera, Or get knocked out. Although they all seemed polite and full of enjoyment. It's hard to get a hold of your surroundings. Especially in the moment like that, I kind of wish it was more controlled, But staff did jump in and kind of keep it in line. My dad always used to say If you wanna play, You gotta pay. So i'll take the few hits and nudges if it means I can stay up front, And get pictures.
When we were loading up, The band that was on was intense. And the singer ended up in nothing but his boxers, Rolling around. Power to him. Kudos to you dude. Everyone seemed to get a kick out of it. Kind of wish the music side of it was taken more seriously. But at least it was enjoyable to those into that.
After the show, We switched plans up a little bit and ended up in Naples. Home of the roe. <3
One of the biggest supporters and friends anyone could ever hope for. We are all so thankful to her hospitality, And for showing us around.
It was awesome to see her home turf, And to spend more time with her than expected. Although I feel like I didn't fit in down there, I enjoyed all the places we went, And all the things we saw. And trying new things was cool.I don't do that often enough even though I have a love for new things.
I kinda felt bad for being a lil baby that can't get into 21 and up places. Like yeah I'm an adult now, But obviously still have roadblocks in my way. Kind of made me sit down and realize this is growing up. And I've got a long way to go with that, But with people like this surrounding me i'm golden. And less fearful of what's to come.
I didn't ruin the night, And I know they didn't care. But I started to feel like they did. We ended up at a bar called TAPS, and the whole situation was pretty funny. You had to have been there d: I enjoyed my water, and that I didn't have to Explain myself Or show my ID because Tim jumped in and spoke for me and Dubbed me the "DD" (At least to the waiter, Who looked at me like an alien for not drinking.)
At that point built up anxieties and exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks, all I wanted was to be alone, and Sleeping. But of course by the time all of that became available to me It was no longer what was wanted. It took me forever to sleep despite exhaustion because I didn't want it to end. And even now I'm having issues dealing with being on my own.
On the way home we took the long way, To make a stop at lake Okeechobee on the way back to O-town. I'm a sucker for things like that. And take my word for it, it was such a peaceful, Beautiful moment in time.
I walk slow, I soak things in, I watch the world around me, And take note of the things going on. (And I'm happy that although like everything it was over-Thought.) No one seemed to mind me, my childishness, or my quirky habits. I've never been family oriented, But these guys have become just that. I've known/ felt this from the start. But finally feeling it so strongly made it an all around good few days. I have a life and friends Now. That I wouldn't change or trade for anything. Driving has opened up so many things for me.
Writing about moments like this has become harder than I thought, But I'm up for the challenge. I'll admit, Naples had me feeling pretty down for moments. We were outcast-ed and looked down upon for being under dressed, And looking the way that we did. James even being watched closely by store workers. Because of his turtle backpack??
But if people took the time to push aside judgments by first looks, They'd see we're probably one of the best groups of people to have walked through there that day.
But even with all of this happening, We really enjoyed it. And kind of just made a joke about it all. An older lady that we talked to for a bit, Told me to come out of my shell. Not really sure what made her say this, As I felt more open than I ever had before? But it still was sweet of her to say, and felt good to hear. I've come a long way because of these guys, And
It's funny how even in a place like this, They still made it so that i'd be and feel comfortable. I'm starting to experience more of life, and the music industry along side of some of the best people. I'm starting to see the good, the bad, the great, the ugly, Everything. And it's Lovely. Good dudes in the industry are still out there, But along with them, There's still the bad. And although I'm getting bits and pieces of both the more I try to branch out, I'm glad I'll always have the knowing within.
(Pun intended.) Because I mean it both ways. The band, And the "feeling"..... I hope that made sense.
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| Photo of the crowd that tim took... |
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| Photo of tim, taking a photo of the crowd, that I shot haha. |
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This was HANDS DOWN the best I've ever seen the knowing within play. And I'm sure this won't be the last time you hear that coming from me, Despite Chris (the bassist) being absent Which was a total bummer. Not only for the band, but for me too. They have such a groove they've fallen into, Emotions were flying, Tunes were radiating. Bodies jumping, Lungs screaming, Lyrics escaping, Not a soul in the room didn't get invested in this set. Everyone was so into them. It was another show where people could try and tell them they don't "belong" But they Proved themselves once again. And were told by many, that their mixed sound was the best. How they could throw down so hard, and yet have meaningful lyrics backed with melodics. People really seemed to dig it, and I'm glad They're getting noticed more and more for being unique.
You could see that they were getting amp'd up and invested in the crowd. Which added to the sound, and altogether flow of the set. I feel like being in a new place might've even added to that.
WE / I met some great people at this show, As I always seem to when the boy's are around. And I am so blessed and humbled that they'd take me along with them on this journey. It was the best, And I hope to be kept in mind if they ever go back down there. Or in general. I probably didn't have a logical place there, But they made it feel otherwise. As always. If I belong anywhere, Surely its with them.
The crowd going crazier for them, than the knowing within. And I didn't think that could be possible.
Even had me into them for awhile. I always tend to take time to "Stop and smell the roses"
Or in this case "Stop shooting to jump and head bang and sing" ect ect. I like to make sure the bands know I'm enjoying them no matter how focused on shooting I may get. For me it's always about the music. And always will be. The moments, the sounds. The experiences, It really all does blend together for me. As you can probably tell by the shots, I got pretty lost in the crowd. It's always been my thing. But I connect more from the fan perspective than anything else. This is just how I am. And my writing style follows...
Maybe one day I'll learn to focus on what's important, But to me.... It all is important. The fans make or break the band. And I love capturing them in the moment like that. Because I am one, and always will be. Sure I'm getting more involved. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying the music. And learning what it's all about. And taking time to experience & feel it.
I don't have much left to say. Although I didn't get very into the other bands, I have never been so in the moment, And this time around was definitely a memory and experience to remember. More so than usual as you can probably tell thus far.
So therefore I'm pretty at a loss for words when it comes to breaking down the bands sound and presence. But I hope to see Until my last breath again, And maybe next time I'll be able to hit more points and have a better way of making you want to go check them out.
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