The place where It all started....

(Mediator was added on to the show)

When sitting down to write these posts, My fingers and mind start race, competing against each other more so than actually syncing, and that's when my heart bleeds out.
Usually my heart isn't easily seen, or "worn on my sleeve" But when it comes to writing, It's different, A view into my mind, And my heart, People hardly ever see. Pieces of me fall out. Pieces of me that never get replaced, Or refilled. It's exhausting,
To try and Capture moments I some times can't even remember very well.

I'm not easily edited, And my blog takes a certain taste, or person to be likable. And that's okay, Because it's mine. And it's me. You, As the reader, Hop into my head and get to experience the night as if you were there. And as if you were me. Not that you'd ever want to be. I mean who want's to be an awkward shy kid that hides behind the people who have accepted her, and speaks mostly only when spoken to. Well In this case, You're in for a surprise.
 For the first time this night, I wasn't that person. I was Cheyenne, Confident, Carefree, Happy, Reaching out to anyone and everyone that I could sense a connection with.
Which turned into talking to anyone who would listen,Or who would engage themselves in conversations with me.
 No stuttering, Over thinking, Pauses, Word vomit, Just me... Perfectly interacting as if I had never stopped being the girl who could who light up the room, And be friends with anyone and everyone....?

I didn't realize what I was doing,  Or that I was even doing it until Tim,
The front man of The Knowing Within
 (If you aren't aware of this yet) Asked me (and Merissa) to bring people in to watch their set. I looked at him like he was crazy, Despite knowing that he knew what I was capable of, Even if I didn't. I walked in and out of the bar part of bombshells at least five times before ever actually talking to anyone. And go figure, The first people I approached were in the band playing next, And couldn't care less, And the second..... Worked there.
(He was very cool about it though and I enjoyed my time with him through out the night.) I walked back into the "venue" side, At the very first sound of the knowing within.
 defeated, feeling like I had let them down. But to my surprise, Something kind of eye opening and miraculous happened. There was quite the crowd. And it most likely wasn't because of us, But we did add to it. Which boosted my confidence and energy levels. I wish more of them stayed for the finale two bands.

Once again I hardly picked up my camera. But it wasn't due to shooting anxiety this time around.(Okay, yes yes it was but at the same time it wasn't, Make sense? No okay.)
 It was because I was perfectly content throwing down. I was feeding off of everyone's energy, And it felt really good to let loose and not only be content with being who I am, But with making a fool out of myself in front of a bunch of people. Hahah what a basic bitch of me huh? Whatever, It was totes worth it bruh.
 I take note of a lot of things the dudes do, But watching them not behind a lens is so much different. I processed things I had never noticed before, Because once in the shooting state of mind nothing else matters but the shots. Where as this time, Nothing mattered but the moment. It was freeing, And pressure free.
 And although I WILL NEVER STOP SHOOTING, Writing now feels like what's important.
And yes, I did kick myself a lot after for not shooting, Because in the back of my mind I kept hearing "theres a shot, and another, and another".....

Anyways, let's get to the other bands shall we?

Mediator  coming from NC, kick started the night and was not at all what I was expecting by the looks and actions of themselves off stage. this being, Not at all a bad thing, Was just kind of a surprise that they were heavy, and pleasingly lyrical. At least to me, As a person of faith who struggles to find common grounds with bands that can sing about God. You really wouldn't expect something like this to come from these guys, Not sound wise at least. And although I talked to them a bit, I failed to ask about where all of this came from. But to put it simply, I was entranced.
Their sound is raw, ruff, and emotional. And I'm a big fan of that. They had a kick butt merch table, With an old suitcase filled with a great mix of  different band tees for $5 I've never seen or heard of that before, but it was unique and an idea I wish I had thought of. / could get more bands to do.
But then again I'm a total sucker for thrifty old things, When others may cringe at the thought of something like that. Last but definitely not least, Aj the guitarist was in a leg brace.... He played like a trooper, sitting down. Which You could tell pained him to do, When you have a fire burning passion inside of you it's hard to accept giving up. And he sure as heck didn't. He even hopped in the pit during one of the other bands, Crutches and all. He accidentally hit someone with them, And it was super punk rock. It's kind of sad that a few of us caught ourselves saying
 "damn I wish it would've been me"  Because that would've been a pretty dope story am I right?
 And he took a few photos for us! They're my new favorite. <3
(will add below)

One day I simply must see them again to talk about the struggles, and writing process that had to of happened to create this band. But not just for that, I yearn to get to know them as people.  Which I don't say often. They're dudes in the music industry I'd see myself being friends with. And again, To my surprise, I can say that about almost every band member that was there.
 Such a pleasure getting to meet passionate, friendly, bands that truly enjoy every aspect of  the life style. It's not always only the stage that matters, The fans are a big part of every band.
And they (all) seemed to understand that.

 A lot like the knowing within, These guys are faithful, acknowledge the struggles, And let it out, But add the bright side to it. Or at least goes to show you there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and helping hands willing to get you through the storms. God is always there for you in the dark times, Even the bad things happen for a reason, You just have to push through the struggle and stick with believing.
He can help get you through anything, At least that's how I tend to see it. And if  you don't that's cool too.Heavy stuff I know, Almost literally haha. So if you're into this kind of thing, Or if you are open minded and open to new things take the time to give em a like, and listen!

Beggars was pretty darn punk rock. Like a mix between the front bottoms and someone heavier.
Their singer was chill af with pink hair, And a tie-dye cat tee!~  One sentence, dats all I've got. Sigh


*Skips talking about bands because I suck oops* Sorry, Although I vaguely mentioned beggars I didn't invest enough into them, Or the other bands to be able to truthfully write about them. Don't get me wrong though, They were good too. Great even.

But erm Anyways,

~Hops to motion theater ~

Alright Stick with me here on this, Are you still reading!? Yes!? Okay,
Listen, I'm wearing thin, I'm burning out, We all get weak, We all need breaks, And despite not doing much else in life, Blogging has taken it's toll on me. And I had another night where I wasn't planning on writing, But someone stepped in and said all of the right things to keep me going, When despite my love of what I do, Wanted nothing more lately, Than to give up on what means the most to me. But here I am. Still standing. Because everything happens for a reason. And Life can be a bitch, But I'm making it my bitch. I was letting the thing I love most, Become just another thing to hate.
And I refuse to let the world break me.

Carrying on, moment being,
Motion theater had an amazing presence and performance despite playing to a pretty lame crowd.
I wasn't the biggest fan of them before hand, But I sure as heck am now. They reminded me a lot of mayday parade, Or maybe things about Greg just made me think of Derek Sanders , Like northern version of them/Him. That didn't stop them from having that sweet southern charm about them though.
 Apparently  it was my job of the night to get in their way A LOT.
 Always unintentionally of course. But me being well me, Tends to lose sight of the things around her and when they were setting up and taking down I crossed paths with them one or maybe even two many times oops. But they didn't seem to mind. Through out the night I talked and hung out with them all a lot, Without even knowing which band they were in. Kind of cool how that works out huh? To spend the night un knowingly talking to the "head liners" of the night is pretty crazy. Once they pop on stage and you realize who you were talking to.
 We interacted a bit all night, But It wasn't until the very end  when I really got a sense of them and who they are.

Guys like them keep me going, They make all the bad days, and people I experience worth it.
I shouted out a comment to Greg, on the way to my car. About how great he was, And how much I appreciated everything he does,That ended in a lengthy conversation I couldn't make up, dream up, or forget.
He read me like an open book before I could even tell him my name, Or express how right he was. he had such a charm about him, And It was one of those situations where you oddly feel like you've known someone all your life, Even though you know nothing about them.... Not yet at least!

I hugged him, And the rest of the band a million times. They feel like friends now. I'd thank them, And they'd thank me right back. Same with compliments!  I wish I could have spoken more with them, And helped them out more. I swear I Would have, If  I didn't have a freaking teeth cleaning at 8am, And parents already asleep I'd have brought them home with me, To rest up before hitting their next stop in Jacksonville. ( Side note mentioned this to my mom and she was like..... "They would've just slept, You'd be back before they'd notice you were gone" Sigh, Should have just chanced it)
This night was not only inspiring to me on many levels, But connecting and humanizing.
 And I honestly believe These dudes meet me's every night. Not exactly, but you get the gist.
And they'll treat them the same ways.We need more of that in the scene. There's not nearly enough truly appreciative and loving people in the world itself, Let alone in the music industry.
So for me this night was a change of pace, On manay different levels.
 Despite all of the great people I've already been meeting this year, I'd have to say these are my favorite so far. And I'm already patiently awaiting their return.

I dragged my feet to the car, And sat there for awhile before getting myself to drive. Part of this was due to having to say goodbye to one of the only people who makes me feel at home within myself, and part of it was not wanting the night to end. I just didn't want to go back to being alone. I never had problems with that, Until I found sides of myself I thought i'd never see again. Brought out of me by the people I try my best surround myself with. And  do so as much as possible. For once In my life I not only feel wanted, But loved. I mention these things a lot, But if you lived in a head and life like mine you'd understand. And you know what!?
Maybe you do.

Nights like this feel like dreams to a kid like me. Someone just might have to interfere one of these days to pinch me just to make sure. Back Tracking to the beginning of the night. The venue, Bombshells as stated waaaaaaaay back in older posts, Isn't in the best of locations, And
I WAS STARVING, Once I realized no one I knew was there yet, I even went on a hunt for food but couldn't find anything. Kind of threw in the towel without even trying though.
Luckily for me, I wasn't the only one. And a scary decision was made to test out the Mexican place next door. Best decision ever basically. It will probably be a bombshells tradition now. Not only good and authentic, But pretty cheap too. I'm loving this whole be spontaneous thang my life has going on lately. I'm more inclined to do these type of things when others are. And for once, I have people that like the same kinds of things, And I can trust enough to be talked into trying new places, people, and  things.

HunnyBunbunbun. Merissa~ 

Greg!

blurry is cool sometimes

AJ from mediator

first time ever trying one of these, and it was magic, Kinda tasted like a beach-y summer-y beverage without the alcohol 

MangoMadness.~ first time every hitting up Jeremiahs, As part of my adventure day in winter park. Also made my first trip to wawa.... Don't understand the hype about it.

This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.

Ohana means family.
Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten. h geart emoticon  

Give or take a few, they are and always will be family to me. 

"Through the eyes of a fan" Blah Blah Blah....

Accidental, and too attached not to add??

yah we selfied, With flash, In the middle of a set, with people behind us.
I regret nothing. Double chin for duh win

also part of my winter park adventure

I just..... Really dig blurry photos 

Like life, Sometimes things must fade before they can bloom again. 

duckface knuckle punch rardon??? 

pretty sure that's his attempt at a heart. 

Bombshells is where I saw The knowing within for the first time, A little less than six months ago. And I cannot believe how far I've come in such the short amount of time since they've been in my life. I'm a very nostalgic person, That's very easily reminded of where I once was, And It happens quite often. But this kind of felt like a milestone for me.

A step in the right directions, On this
(path of my calling)....... Wait for it

Because I (believe to see), (An untold story), Is un veiling itself, because there is always 

 (hope for the despaired), to become someone who is (forever radiant.) This my friends Is merely a (diary for the broken), Stick around or you'll be making (such a sad mistake)..... 

BOOM. wow did I really just go there? ew. Sorry for being so lame. ~Chyster 

Actually I've decided I'm not quite done yet, I made this all about me and my journey, What about The Knowing Within's!? I nuzzled myself into this family at the right time. I've watched them grow, Just as I have seen within myself and my life. They've found their groove, They've started making more of an impact in the scene, Kinks have been worked out, Their sound is so different from what I once knew. And each and every performance is better than the one before. They've added more back up vocals. And have slowly taken things in a heavier direction and It works well for them. It's at a point where if they change something I'm aware of it, And have the hey wait a minute, I was not aware of this! Reactions. (Not that I should be aware haha)  I might not be an actual part of the band, But I've found my place with them. The more I see them. The more I want to,
 And the more I seem to. Only time will tell where we'll all end up one day.
Nevertheless, I have faith that things will work out how they should. 

When you're with the right people, Anywhere can feel like home.

Although I knew about it ahead of time, I jumped on board and  into this adventure Last minute. Scary and exciting stuff!
New places, New faces, Things I LOVE, But that always seem to terrify me didn't this time.  It was an experience of a lifetime, And moments to always remember.

It started off by a sleepless night (Nothing unusual there tho) On top of that me driving the farthest on my own I've ever gone, Which was to my surprise, fairly easy. Until I pulled into the wrong complex and not only walked but drove around in circles for what seemed like a life time. But  timing worked out perfectly in the end so no complaints.
This is kind of personal, and although I'm trying to stay away from that, I need to mention it.

 I Haven't been out by Tampa since before my aunt died, And the nostalgic feelings I've held onto, But escaped for years came flooding back to me. It's funny tho because at a few points in this trip, Even Tim had those un explainable nostalgic feelings. Mine had a reason though. Which wasn't such a bad thing really.
For a moment I was a little hyped up kid that saw the mickey ears, And the dinosaurs, And thought "Rocky's close".....   I just let myself get lost in the music and the moment. Which worked, And In an instant I was okay again, With some of the people who truly mean most to me.
James passed the frick out in the back, And Tim air guitar-ing & singing along to songs we enjoy.  I even did some of that myself! I guess you could say I made a pretty great copilot.
That's where I got my first senses of belonging. A sense of love, life, and family That never made much sense to me. Or felt like this until now. It's like all that's happened to me was  leading up until this point.
 Give or take the situations obviously. James doesn't have to sleep forever. He's a pretty funny and chill dude. Who added to the mix of greatness.
Although I was very in and out of this feeling, It'll happen again.  It just has to. Moments like this will be my life one day. I got the taste of the tour life, Just like I've always wanted. And now there's no going back.
I want it more than anything, And although it's not very possible. I'll never lose my grips on fighting to make it happen. I understand just how hard it is, and see that it's more than just a bunch of fun and games. And I still want to work my a$$ off for it.

The driving part of the trip itself was perfection, for me at least. In those moments, mostly on the way back, I'd catch myself zoning out because I couldn't grasp the moment. at least not while it was all happening. I got thrown into so much at once, And although I loved every second of it, I kept feeling lost....
 But now that i'm reflecting on it, I'm looking back thinking damn son who was that person????  I no longer feel the need to filter myself, Or ever over think things When I'm around the Tkw FamBam. And now i'm even less inclined to do things like that when they're not around.
But, When you ignore emotions, good or bad, and mask yourself everyday, you'd understand It's pretty mesmerizing when you're not doing so. And Know that it'll catch up with you eventually. And that it did, nearing the end of the night And, through out the last day once total exhaustion hit.
I got really emotional for no reason so many times during this trip. I guess I was just really happy. I've ever spent this much time with them, And I saw sides I've never seen before. And in return they got the same from me. By the end of the night I was Basically Just a dang hot mess. Minus the hot. I did get sun burned tho.  If that counts for anything Both days I ended up red and on fire. Mostly from in the car too, Like what the heck. Darn you sunshine state.


I expected ft Myers and this venue to be in a hopping city, But it was quite actually the opposite. The only thing that seemed to be around was a win dixie, And a few small businesses. Like what the hick? Did I really travel all this way to be back in a heck town like good ole Debary??? Guess that's why a venue is needed there. Not much else to do, Besides the beach. Which we didn't take the time to see, But hope to next time around. We were close enough to smell it at a few points tho.
 Hahha all jokes aside. The venue was like a play ground. And I'm hopeful to make the trip back out there once they finish doing their add on's and bringing out it's  potential. Not having a bar there, Or places to sit was lame and sucky. But the building and sound were nice.

The crowd took advantage of this, And ended up smashing a hole in the wall.
Despite there being plenty of room to jump and kick around without destroying anything.
 Besides maybe the people around you hahah.

To be honest I've never been to a show like this, I thought People only joked about acting like that at shows. Like the "pop punk" Or "straight edge" kids...
(Just an example, Because the music wasn't labeled as that)
is there even an actual word for people who think it's fun to kick/  beat the living hell out of each other? And jump around like idiots. I guess the only word that covers it is moshing. Or crowd killing.
 No judgements, I think the emotional outlet of it is phenomenal. But don't expect me to ever catch me in a pit like that. I'm a whimp, And I literally burst into tears when nudged some times. I kept having to run around to escape them, I was scared I'd drop my camera, Or get knocked out. Although they all seemed polite and full of enjoyment. It's hard to get a hold of your surroundings. Especially in the moment like that, I kind of wish it was more controlled, But staff did jump in and kind of keep it in line. My dad always used to say If you wanna play, You gotta pay. So i'll take the few hits and nudges if it means I can stay up front, And get pictures.

When we were loading up, The band that was on was intense. And the singer ended up in nothing but his boxers, Rolling around. Power to him. Kudos to you dude. Everyone seemed to get a kick out of it. Kind of wish the music side of it was taken more seriously. But at least it was enjoyable to those into that.

After the show, We switched plans up a little bit and ended up in Naples. Home of the roe. <3
One of the biggest supporters and friends anyone could ever hope for. We are all so thankful to her hospitality, And for showing us around.
It was awesome to see her home turf, And to spend more time with her than expected. Although I feel like I didn't fit in down there, I enjoyed all the places we went, And all the things we saw. And trying new things was cool.I don't do that often enough even though I have a love for new things.

I kinda felt bad for being a lil baby that can't get into 21 and up places. Like yeah  I'm an adult now, But obviously still have roadblocks in my way. Kind of made me sit down and realize this is growing up. And I've got a long way to go with that, But with people like this surrounding me i'm golden. And less fearful of what's to come.


 I didn't ruin the night, And I know they didn't care. But I started to feel like they did. We ended up at a bar called TAPS, and the whole situation was pretty funny. You had to have been there d: I enjoyed my water, and that I didn't have to Explain myself Or show my ID because Tim jumped in and spoke for me and Dubbed me the "DD" (At least to the waiter, Who looked at me like an alien for not drinking.)
 At that point built up anxieties and exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks, all I wanted was to be alone, and Sleeping. But of course by the time all of that became available to me It was no longer what was wanted. It took me forever to sleep despite exhaustion because I didn't want it to end. And even now I'm having issues dealing with being on my own.


 On the way home we took the long way, To make a stop at lake Okeechobee on the way back to O-town. I'm a sucker for things like that. And take my word for it, it was such a peaceful, Beautiful moment in time.

 I walk slow, I soak things in, I watch the world around me, And take note of the things going on. (And I'm happy that although like everything it was over-Thought.) No one seemed to mind me, my childishness, or my quirky habits. I've never been family oriented, But these guys have become just that. I've known/ felt this from the start. But finally feeling it so strongly made it an all around good few days. I have a life and friends Now. That I wouldn't change or trade for anything. Driving has opened up so many things for me.

Writing about moments like this has become harder than I thought, But I'm up for the challenge. I'll admit, Naples had me feeling pretty down for moments. We were outcast-ed and looked down upon for being under dressed, And looking the way that we did. James even being watched closely by store workers. Because of his turtle backpack??
 But if people took the time to push aside judgments by first looks, They'd see we're probably one of the best groups of people to have walked through there that day.
But even with all of this happening, We really enjoyed it. And kind of just made a joke about it all. An older lady that we talked to for a bit, Told me to come out of my shell. Not really sure what made her say this, As I felt more open than I ever had before? But it still was sweet of her to say, and felt good to hear. I've come a long way because of these guys, And
It's funny how even in a place like this, They still made it so that i'd be and feel comfortable. I'm starting to experience more of life, and the music industry along side of some of the best people. I'm starting to see the good, the bad, the great, the ugly, Everything. And it's Lovely. Good dudes in the industry are still out there, But along with them, There's still the bad. And although I'm getting bits and pieces of both the more I try to branch out, I'm glad I'll always have the knowing within.
(Pun intended.) Because I mean it both ways. The band, And the "feeling"..... I hope that made sense.

                                                  

 

Photo of the crowd that tim took... 

Photo of tim, taking a photo of the crowd, that I shot haha. 

This was HANDS DOWN the best I've ever seen the knowing within play. And I'm sure this won't be the last time you hear that coming from me, Despite Chris (the bassist) being absent Which was a total bummer. Not only for the band, but for me too.  They have such a groove they've fallen into, Emotions were flying, Tunes were radiating. Bodies jumping, Lungs screaming, Lyrics escaping, Not a soul in the room didn't get invested in this set. Everyone was so into them. It was another show where people could try and tell them they don't "belong" But they Proved themselves once again. And were told by many, that their mixed sound was the best. How they could throw down so hard, and yet have meaningful lyrics backed with melodics. People really seemed to dig it, and I'm glad They're getting noticed more and more for being unique. 

You could see that they were getting amp'd up and invested in the crowd. Which added to the sound, and altogether flow of the set. I feel like being in a new place might've even added to that.

WE / I met some great people at this show, As I always seem to when the boy's are around. And I am so blessed and humbled that they'd take me along with them on this journey. It was the best, And I hope to be kept in mind if they ever go back down there. Or in general. I probably didn't have a logical place there, But they made it feel otherwise. As always. If I belong anywhere, Surely its with them. 

I hadn't previously listened to Until my last breath, But I did know that they've played with the knowing within before, And Tim spoke very highly of them which got me stoked to see / meet them. They were really great dudes. It goes to show that Bands shouldn't be judged by their sound. These guys Had hearts, and they wore them on their sleeves. Partially why TKW probably blends and Fits so well around them.
The crowd going crazier for them, than the knowing within. And I didn't think that could be possible.
 Even had me into them for awhile. I always tend to take time to "Stop and smell the roses"
 Or in this case "Stop shooting to jump and head bang and sing" ect ect. I like to make sure the bands know I'm enjoying them no matter how focused on shooting I may get.  For me it's always about the music. And always will be. The moments, the sounds. The experiences, It really all does blend together for me. As you can probably tell by the shots, I got pretty lost in the crowd. It's always been my thing. But I connect more from the fan perspective than anything else. This is just how I am. And my writing style follows...
Maybe one day I'll learn to focus on what's important, But to me.... It all is important. The fans make or break the band. And I love capturing them in the moment like that. Because I am one, and always will be. Sure I'm getting more involved. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying the music. And learning what it's all about. And taking time to experience & feel it.

I don't have much left to say. Although I didn't get very into the other bands, I have never been so in the moment, And this time around was definitely a memory and experience to remember. More so than usual as you can probably tell thus far.
 So therefore I'm pretty at a loss for words when it comes to breaking down the bands sound and presence. But I hope to see Until my last breath again, And maybe next time I'll be able to hit more points and have a better way of making you want to go check them out.