Untitled

This one goes out to Jason Mineer. ( cough the best sound guy ever. cough cough)
 If you're reading this, Know this post wouldn't exist without you.
I cannot thank you enough for all the support you've shown me. People like you are why I'm here. Your comments and excitement made me want to write. And i'll hold onto that, And try to start documenting more often. *smirks*

With that being said, this probably isn't going to be one of my bests, And i'm okay with that.
But are you guys? I feel like now that I have somewhat of a following I have people to let down.
These blogs aren't just for me anymore. Although still viewed through the eyes of Chyster everything feels so different about the writing process. I care so much more, I'm putting in so much more effort. And i'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared about not being good enough.

But I cannot even begin to explain the amazing compliments I've gotten about this blog. And for that reason I'm fighting to keep it up as much as possible. I haven't been writing as much, Because the Nights I've had probably seem like one in the same to anyone who wasn't there.
I mean come on how much can one write about the same venue, And praise the same band so much before it gets old? West end has become A place of comfort for me. But the darkness of my mind followed me this time around and really put a damper on the night. I think it's because I was surrounded by people who would be okay with me NOT being okay. (for some reason I still feel like death, although the anxiety factors have ceased which is nice time being)

But i'd be damned if I was going to let it stop me. The night was hectic but ended up being an another amazing night.  I don't think I've ever been so out of shooting and into singing my heart out. I've never shot this little of The knowing within. And that's okay with me.
 Sorry to report that I didn't catch enough of every band's set to talk about things properly. Or have photos to show. But I will say that from what  was caught, all the bands were great as always.
 RRE (red rabbit entertainment) Never fails. They are so great about putting bands that flow together, But don't all sound the same or bore anyone. It's awesome how different each bands sound was.

I got to spend more time with the band bro's than normal this show around.
So much goofing off and dancing per usual I swear the knowing within is the biggest bunch of goofs. (although completely professional and serious when need be)
Getting to know them on such a personal level has been the best experience of my life. And it's just the beginning. So get used to always hearing about it. I never ever in my wildest dreams expected a band I love so much to become such great friends of mine. They are my family, Fans included, We are the Knowing within-gers.

(They'll always be super heroes to me! Be your own hero<3 But always have other great ones surrounding you.)

I once made this comment and Can't help but share it here. They're like the band from Scott Pilgrim but opposite
" We are Sex Bob-omb Here to make you think about death and get sad N stuff."
 Vs We are the knowing within Here to make you think about life and be Happy N stuff.
And I've been doing just that lately.

I know hands down I want to work in the music industry, And go back to school to better my chances of actually achieving that. But I'm so confused about which directions to take, or where to start.
There's so much that interests me, Or that I could see myself doing..... ergh. I think honestly tho getting my dang license is the best to focus on for now. I've put it off for far too long. It's time to grow up and deal with it. I'm capable. I'm just scared sh**less . Wow okay I didn't mean to make this all about me. Sorry about that. I just feel like I'm supported, and finally ready to listen to MY KNOWING WITHIN. (cheesiness aside I mean it, They've helped me in so many ways.)
My heart wants wings, my brain want's roots. and I cannot stand their bickering's.

I just want to go on adventures and make my attempts at being a starving artist. But I'm starting to think that that isn't the place to start. I need to become stable and full of growth, Before I can expect to uproot myself and survive.... Life is funny, Just when I thought a door was opening for me It slammed shut in my face. It's still swinging, So maybe eventually when the time is right I'll sneak my way through it. Or maybe i'll break a window.  I'm just so tired of the same old thing, Go figure I'd get too comfortable somewhere and crave for new places to find my place in. A never ending cycle for me. Escapes only last for so long. The worries of my life and mind clouded my work And even my play and it was killing me to the brink of tears almost all night. I can't even understand the things that were racing in my head But oh boy was it buzzing.

In other news, I should be attending Silverstien's Discovering the water front tour Next weekend On valentines day.... And I just might return to tell the tale. Fingers are crossed on that one, I've been in situations before where it seemed like everything was perfect Just to throw me for a loop give up thinking it's not happening only to do a total 360 and end up working out???? So who knows. Not going to stress myself over it. If it's meant to happen it will. (Dear parents, Not driving me won't make my license ordeal any easier just for the record.....! In fact it'll probably just push me further into my dark hole abyss of being stuck. Making it happen is what will push me to suck it up and grow up.)
Also I've been asked by a few people for potential shows/ shoots that I'm really looking forward into making happen. The want seems to be there. But the will to make it work? Not so much. This is my life, It's always going to be. Now I just need the money to follow so I can keep it up..... I can't rely on my parents forever, And what little money I have saved up isn't going to last much longer at this pace. Plus I'm craving new gear. Which is killing me to even think about because $$$$$$$ </3 *siiiigghhhh*

 

These dudes are all about giving back, they've done so much for myself and their fans. And even strangers and haters as well i'm sure!..... 

Whether it's the emotional relate-able lyrics that can help you realize there's light in the darkness, the support of good vibes when around them Or the things they're constantly sharing/ giving away. This time it was original hand written lyrics, and a few other things. But in the past I've gotten broken sticks, set lists, picks, shirts, you name it. They never fail to make someones show experience special.  Even if it's something as simple as Getting high fives or singing into the mic. Tim is the best at what he does. Every single person in the room can be moved. And can feel involved/ special. 

 The stage is his element. It's where they all belong. And it shows. They were made for this. 

You'll struggle, And they will too. 

there's no getting around that. But YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. 

 God is faithful and always provides the pathway, And the strength to carry on.

I live for seeing these guys make differences in peoples lives like they did in mine. 

Every show thus far has been unique and amazing in it's own way. 

But this time around it was really great just to kick back and enjoy the time with my band bros And with some of the within-gers!<3 

West end is the perfect place for it too. 

It's character is so chill and full of hard working good vibe-ing people.  And they put up with all our insanity x) Like James, the drummer breaking a pair of new sticks on the tables while jamming out to dubstep-y rap music? I guess that's what you'd call it haha. Also they have the best south western eggrolls. Okay seriously. Try them. it's worth it I swear. 

If I had the guts I'd look into getting a job there...... Because I really love being there so much recently.

Also HUGE thank you to Jason johansen

 (Yes another jason Crazy To wrap your head around right)  

Of fat rat photography for all he's done so far to help me. 

I've already learned so much and i'm really grateful for it. He stepped in and fixed my camera settings because I was lame and too lost in my head to be shooting manual until he intervened. :) Plus it's always great to watch him do promo shots. Although I often wish it was me taking them... It's highly enjoyable to see him at work. And to learn what I can from him.

He's so great in his own way. :) 

I feel like this was a pretty blah post And I left moments out??? this post was personal enough already. Anyways as always if you made it thus far, Your support and patience means the world to me. I hope you enjoy my rambles.~ Chyster. 

Ps, For those of you who are knew to what i'm talking about, Here's a link to their newest song  An Untold Story and the link to their book of faces! TheKnowingWithin  Jam out, and like them while you're at it! And here's a link to RedRabbit'sFacebook take a moment to check out all the great gigs they have coming up this spring! (personally i'm stoked for The sister kill cycle show)