Honestly  I'm having another hard time trying to write about this so bare with me as I try my best to put such an amazing day into words.

A few weeks ago at an Alesana show, (which I previously mentioned a bit in my last entry) I had the pleasure of meeting Tim  front man behind local Alternative band "The knowing within"
Because I can't not mention her in this, I also met his friend Romina who is simply lovely. d: If you take the time to make the connections i swear you'll meet the best people at concerts. I've come to realize this. Some of the best people in my life have come through music.
  They popped up behind me just before Megosh  came on and their happiness rubbed off on me and got me to loosen up a bit. I was alone at the moment so it was great to have people make the effort to reach out to me with conversation and smiles. Seriously these two have made my life by restoring my faith in everything I seem to know and love in life. Such as going to shows, Being a Photographer blah blah blah. Mushy gushyness aside I'm glad people like them still exist
**inserts heart emoji or something here**

After talking with them for a bit  I knew i'd like the knowing within just by the way Tim presented himself and explained them to me, But after looking them up I was hooked! Luckily for me one thing lead to another and I ended up at the bands next show.
Which I didn't expect to end up happening, But Tim went the extra mile to make it happen for me and I cannot thank him enough for not only giving me the opportunity to shoot him and his band but for meeting me and my mom at a Starbucks near where the band practices, Along with driving me home after the show. Without that I wouldn't have been able to make it out. And I would've ended up sulking in my room all night.

When I look at shooting a band, I never know what to expect but add a venue I've never been to, People I hardly know, And an intimidating  professional photographer showing up into the mix and call it trouble. I was a total mess for the first hour or so. Kinda hoping nobody noticed that.
I started to feel suffocated and so out of place, At times I started to panic and I  was scared i'd lose sight of myself & ruin everything. (Everything being the photos in which I was there to take.)  Doubt and fear kept trying to creep in. I don't know how I managed to get back out of my head, But by the end of it all..... I'm happy to say I've never felt so surrounded by open minded, Encouraging, Inviting people. I'll never get over how well they formed me into their group for the night.
 For someone who has such a hard time with things like that it meant the world to me to feel comfortable and wanted. I wasn't ignored or looked down upon for being different. It felt like the perfect fit for a night. But I hope that it wasn't a one time thing. I honestly feel like these are people I can now call friends, By my definition at least. And hope to see again in the future.  It was such a change of pace to feel so alive.... so in the moment... so out of my head....
 They're not just a band to me, They'll never be just a band to me.
But then again most of the bands I see myself really getting into like this never are. There's always that personal level that makes them more than just some band.

I was super stoked to finally make it out to a show at bombshell's, The venue was super dark but it added to the ambiance and if I wasn't focused on being there to shoot my vampire self would've loved it.
The music they played was super on point all night, We were all singing along With added Air guitar and drums totes just goofing off. It helped in getting amp'd for the show. Again such a great group of people! Have I said that enough? ahaha.


To keep on track with the honesty thing, Bombshell's is not in the best of locations. But Being able to hang out in the parking lot was really nice. Minus the dumpsters from the restaurant next to the venue... Ick. Take those out of the picture and it'd have been the perfect movie type setting. Like in one of those angsty teenage movies or something!?
The sun going down was gorgeous. And it was getting colder with every trip back outside. Which was just simply fantastic.
 The venue was bigger than I expected... Didn't realize it until I decided to walk over to the other side to the bar at the end of the night. They even had a cute little mascot to sitting at the bar. She was a beautiful old Pitbull. can't remember her name tho, What a shame, She was just so sweet and cute!
Bombshell's has this total old bar vibe going on and I just dunno loved that.
So Homey and inviting. A place where you could kick back relax and just enjoy yourself.

I feel like the turn out of the night was pretty tiny which bummed me out a bit. But the people who were there all seemed to enjoy themselves and the music so it made it all worth it at least I think?  I know Tim was sick but it didn't seem to mess with his voice all that much. Sure it was my first time seeing them so I have no comparison but he seemed to do pretty well regardless of the sickness.  His stage presence was highly enjoyable along his interactions with the crowd. I'm happy to have been apart of such a night. I know it was big for him and to be included meant a lot to me.

On the way home in between listening to great CD's
(LIKE OH MY GOD HE HAS CD'S IN HIS CAR nothing beats CD's man. Technology can suck it)
And conversation I was asked who I thought the knowing within sounded like and I was so stumped. Never  have I thought so hard about trying to compare and label a band.... But because I was asked I sat down and really thought about it.
They sound like a mix of so many different bands and things Which just adds to my love that's already formed for them.
If I was to zone in and label them I think I finally decided that they remind me of Chiodos but even then the sound resemblance isn't sever enough for me to wanna compare them. They also kind of remind me of a softer of mice& men In a lyrical sense more than sound. (Starting to think they also sound a bit like scary kids scaring kids  Which makes 2009-11 cheyenne pretty happy.)
Speaking of lyrics.... that's what hooked me into them right of the bat. I can't get the songs out of my head.
I've been jamming them non stop for the past few weeks upon "discovering" them But i'm not complaining!  I find myself quoting and using their lyrics in everyday life as well. It's been a total reminder of  things I've needed more of in my life lately. The lyrics are catchy but have meaning behind them. So it's like getting a popular catchy song stuck in your head But better because it's sensible and heartfelt.
 It's hard for me to find bands that I can get this into and the fact that they're not only local but have become "friends" of mine just makes them that much more special and meaningful to me. They're humble and personable. And I feel that no matter how big they get they always will be. That's just part of what they're all about. In my eyes at least.
They've brought  back memories of drive A.... but better??? because not only are they local but I'm more mature. (lololol) Anyways,
This night was one of those once in a life time experiences personally that cannot be explained or put into words in a way that people could fathom or want to read.
But it surely won't ever be forgotten. And deserves to be talked about.

 I hope i'm able to see & support these guys for a long time Along with the other bands that were there. Because take my word on this and believe it when i say Tim did such a great job putting together such a fantastic line up full of great music, And great people to match. He did such a wonderful job his first time putting together a show himself And the knowing within along with their first night ever headlining a show. Definitely didn't disappoint. Not to me anyway. Here's to their future! wherever it may take them count me in. d:
                                             
                                                     The Knowing Within
                                                           Tim Rardon: Vocals/Writing
                                                          Chris Colon: Bass/Keys
                                                  Austin "Woffie" Glick: Guitars
                                                 James Arran: Drums                                                                                                                              https://www.facebook.com/TheKnowingWithin
                                          http://reverbnation.com/theknowingwithin

They say if you're good at something never do it for free.
But everyone has to start out somewhere. If you saw my reactions to every comment or photo re-post over the past few days You'd understand. After spending five days editing / deleting photos i finally got them all posted. And the feed back was just incredible. I never expected so many likes and comments on something I did and felt proud of. I woke up every day this week with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. And after being so lost in the darkness feeling like this feels like a fucking dream.
This isn't just a "job" It's my heart, And my life. If i'm not behind a lens it feels like i'm not living.
 i'll be damned if I don't make it my goal in life to capture and seize these moments. I feel so on top of the world right now. I have seen my I repeat MY photos all over facebook and it gets me every time. Such a surreal thing to see people caring about something I did. Something I hold dearly. I keep wanting to pinch myself because surly this all must be just a dream Like all the others.
 I cannot even begin to imagine how I would feel if I ever make it and start to get paid for taking photos.  God forbid (maybe I should say willing?) I ever get to hop on tours, Man I'd probably have a heart attack before hand. Because it means that much to me. I've doubted myself long enough, It's time to break free and become everything I've always thought could only be possible in my dreams.
I started driving again, And this time around there's been less tension and fear. The world is at my finger tips.... I cannot wait to Stop holding myself back so I can reach out and grab it. Dare I say that this is the path of my calling? ;) Total play on words there. Nudge Nudge wink wink. hehes.
(   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znc4DI-i6Qc ) <---
                                                           



                                                               From Mortals To Monsters
                                                                         Jon: Lead Guitar
                                                                         Alex: Bass
                                                                          Ryan: Guitar/Vocals
                                                                      Tucker: Vocals/Synth
                                                                           Jay: Drums
                                              with guest appearance by Larry on guitar
                                            https://soundcloud.com/from-mortals-to-monsters
                                                  https://www.facebook.com/MortalstoMonsters/info

                                                        Don't Feed The Birds
                                                 Guitar/Vocals- Sam Gonzalez
                                              Guitar/Vocals- Stevie Ray Barns
                                                   Bass - Bryant Shank
                                                  Drums/Vocals- Esteban Santana
                                 https://www.facebook.com/DONTFEEDTHEBIRDS/info

                                                  I//Arrhythmist
                                               William Strickland-Guitars/Vocals
                                                         Justin Hadwin-Bass
                                                    Michael Hollinger-Guitars
                                                   Logan Newquist-Drums
              https://www.facebook.com/pages/IArrhythmist/1402498183341096?sk=info

{Btw if you see this, which you probs won't thank you Micheal for messaging me first and asking for photos. I wasn't paying attention and never caught the band name.... And it wasn't on the flyer because they  filled in last minute. I was like OH CRAP WHAT DO I DOOOOO!? }
So I was putting off the shots, I was scared to check them anyway because they went on first. I was super nervous that I wouldn't have any good enough shots.... You guys were basically my time to mess with lighting and try to calm myself the frick down. Once I started to focus tho. And tried my best to ignore the other photographer and his flashes I got into the zone and really enjoyed myself. I hate using the flash, It makes me feel like a total douche. But the venue's lighting gave me no choice. I felt more comfortable doing so once the other flashes started going off. In the end i'm glad he was there because without him i probably would've gotten crap shots from not using a flash.
Shooting these guys was so much fun! So much energy and movements.
 I hope to see / shoot these d00dz  again in the future! Along with all of the others. I see myself following them all and keeping my eyes peeled for shows. I really loved the line up, All the guys sounded great, and had personalities and stage skills to match. Again, Tim did a really great job picking and putting together and can't wait to see what the next one is like! :D I feel like i've said that a lot. But I went in only caring about one band..... And left with a love for all of them. Which is rare and amazing I mean come on How often do you go to a show and leave liking all the bands????

Straight up cheesein. d: 

And to end it, The more I stare at these..... The more I see "hotpgraphy" instead of  photography. uh oops?  I got bored with my logo and literally changed it in the middle of editing. I like it. But I can't stop over thinking it. I'm just hoping that it'll catch someone's eye and i'll be contacted for photos. I have this itch I  can't scratch now. I just want to get out there and shoot. I've been really wanting to do some portraits too so hopefully I can set that up soon.  I have never done something this big, And I can't wait to do bigger and better. I added a lot of photos. Sorry if it's a lot. I had a love for the shots. They captured the night in the moment as best to my abilities  and I love that so much about photography. It gives me the reason to get out a live. I look through lenses. I live through lenses.
This night and all that followed gave me that drive to better myself and my life that was really needed. I'm looking forward to figuring out pricing, Reaching out, Going back to school, and just getting the frick out there<3 I can't thank you all enough for the support along the way. Each and every one of you mean something to me.
Whether you're reading this as a fan of mine, or a fan of one of the bands I thank you for taking the time to do so. And I hope you continue to follow my journey along the way. Much love.~ Chyster (Cheyenne Genest.)

wishful thinking.

I've gotten a little taste of going to shows every weekend...And if life works out how i plan i'll have gone to a show four weekends in a row by the end of October... Actually make that five weekends in a row. Because i'm really hoping to finally see the bad suns whom I've been following for years now.

 Last weekend, i was lucky enough to make it out to my favorite band's show. Alesana will be near and dear to my heart no matter what happens or how much my music senses change. I was happy to  see them again.  Getting hugs from jake made me supes happy. I was Front and center again. Screaming my lungs out until my  heart was content. Unfortunately my camera  AND phone both died on me which sucked so much but regardless i was super happy to have gone.


The local opening bands were so much better than i expected and i honestly love them so much now. One of them is a favorite band of mine lately. I find myself singing their songs through out my day. And it's rad that their local And as fate has it... I was able to see them again this weekend.They played a show at west end  with my friends brothers band and i was invited last minute. I love that venue so much. It's such a great atmosphere for local starting up bands.
 (And not so local bands like Richard and Justin who played there last month lol ) That and it helps being merely minutes from my house. I was kind of pissy that they had an up charge of $3 for under 21..... but i paid up and got over it. The shots i got of bothering Dennis and believers of exile made it worth it in the end.


Next weekend i'm hoping to shoot the knowing within, I met their front man Tim at the Alesana show and things just fell into place. Proving to me that things happen for a reason. We talked a bit and i went home and looked up his band. I seriously haven't stopped listening to them. I just can't get enough of the few songs they have posted. The lyrics and sound are so original and relate-able. I have a feeling that even if things don't pull through and i'm not guest listed i'll still try and talk my dad into going to the show because i'm itching to see them. They're right up my alley musically without sounding too much like anything else I've ever heard and lemme tell ya shit like that aint easy.

The weekend after that is the A day to remember parks and desperation tour finally ^_^ I can't wait! The lineup is perfection. And all the bands slay so hard on stage. I'm freaking stoked to see them all again. Hoping that the sold out last night of tour show is as great as the day before....Because oddly enough they're playing two nights in a row!?.... which is rad tbh. I wish tickets for both days were cheaper because i'd be all over that like white on rice brah,


But anyways because i'm proud-ish of them.... here's a few shots from the other night.










                                                                                                                                                                     


 Here's a few of the Believers of exile As well. I gave up on editing them tho because the quality  was getting so killed.
          

So in all i've had two eventful weekends and that makes me pretty darn happy. So here's to hoping my life stays like this! I defiantly dig being out and about as much as i have. It's kept me out of my head and out of my bed. Which is lovely. I've been really doubting myself and my life as of late. But nights like this keep me in check. It's hard to keep my head above water when i hardly feel or act my age.... But i'm getting there. I don't have any great photos from the Alesana show. I was shooting mostly from my phone and it died on me XD but even so none of the photos i got are blog worthy. Besides the ones with the band members but i didn't talk about that all that much so i'll just stick with not posting them. I loved all the bands that night And i'm happy to have gained memories and new bands to swoon over! d: Keep your eyes peeled. I'm hoping to report back next week, I'm hoping to have photos of the knowing within! If it works out that is.,... Fingers crossed but don't get your hopes up. (Basically a note to self on that lol dun wanna jinx it, or get to let down)

Memphis may fire's Matty Mullins's solo album "Self titled" Review.

{Added the photos together for this post.}

I've been really stoked for this album.... I freaked out when i noticed it was on spotify Because it had just come out yesterday (9/23/14) I honestly wasn't expecting to be able to find it online anywhere except for like itunes which wouldn't work for me because i A want a hard copy and B don't have and iphone or my ipod anymore... haha. Yes i could have pre ordered but other things just seemed more import at the time.


I've been excited for this album for many reasons.

1 I was expecting good clean Matty vocals Which is exactly what we got from this album. <3
2 Bringing a better light to Christians and or christian/ religious music.
3 showing MMF {Memphis may fire} fans that there's someone / something out there for them and that they don't have to be alone in this life.
4 the album cover is his tattooed hands Bringing an album cover you normally definitely wouldn't see to the christian/ religious shelves and or sections of stores. Some of which maybe even being christian based stores!? Like how awesome is that!? Times are a changing. oh boy. It just proves to me that some Christians are loving and  accepting like how we were made to be.
5.... Uh i had a five,,,, but it left my brain. *scratches head* Ah right i lost it because i mentioned it a bit in four. Acceptance. It says that people like me can be followers too. Maybe it's because i've found a church that i can feel comfortable and can be myself fully in... with no un dying fear of judgements. But i know that it's a big thing i always struggled with. Up until a few months ago i never felt like i was capable of religion. And once i got to a point of capability i thought no way could i ever be open about it... But here i am. Talking about it. Sure i still can't wear my Christianity on my sleeve next to my heart..... But i'm working on it., lol nobody's perfect. And it's okay cause we don't have to be. We are all sinners. Just accept it and move on. Realize that avoiding sin isn't all that the life of Christianity is about anymore.
(Maybe that's just my opinion tho.)

I'm gonna be honest here, At first listen i was pretty darn disappointed in the album because it's suggestive. On first listen it's like UH WAIT? ISN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT JESUS!?.... and i'm sure people who are looking for songs like that would agree with me. But then i remembered family force five, skillet, and switchfoot.... their songs can be taken the same way.
 Depending on who's listening to them and what take they have on life and music. Upon a second listen it was easier to get a grasp on who/ what he was singing about. Which in a way is a good thing. For Matty at least lol because i can see a lot of MMF fans having bitch fits over him going off and singing on his own about Jesus. But come on guys just be happy he didn't change MMF and drag them down this road... Although if you listen closely you can pick up some suggestible things in their lyrics as well.

I am happy to report that i haven't seen any negative reviews yet... But the album is only a day old trust me they are coming. But with every album and with everything in life comes negative feed back. I'm just happy he took the leap. We've known for a long time matty's stance on things. But to go off on his own and sing about it!? that's a pretty ballsy step to take. Maybe it'll help change peoples outlook on life, And views on religion. I'm living proof that not every bible thumping Jesus lover is a closed minded a-hole who will shove it all down your throat while looking down on you when they're not any better off than you are in the end tbh. Simply calling yourself  a christian won't be what saves you. I'm getting off track here tho.... I didn't mean to ramble so much about my views. I'll get to my thoughts on the songs now.



See you in everything.

i finally saw you when i opened up my eyes, eyes. I breathe a glimpse of beauty I cannot describe. Now i'm alive. Oh how can i deny it's so obvious I see you in everything. See you in everything. Just to see your face i gave it all away. now you show me everyday, You show me everyday. How can i deny. i see you in everything. see you in everything. i gave it all away just to see your face now you show me everyday. My selfish heart made it hard to recognize the light. But you sought after me with grace so i could rise and find. You are the evidence of all that never ends and now i am free for the first time in my life. <~ lyrics.

Very uplifting and full of praise. I love it. Honestly it's so unique and different but still so soulful and full of life. The more i listened to it.... To get the lyrics typed up i started to like it way more than 99% which was my favorite, And now I see it just as religious as the other. See again. You have to listen to things a lot to understand them sometimes. Speaking of which I see myself listening to this album a lot.

My dear. i'll admit.... PARTS and LINES of this song yes obviously religious and "suggestively about god. But ya know again.... it can be taken as if singing about someone/ something else

It's kind of a reassuring song? One i see myself turning to when i feel like god's not there, or if i feel like i'm "talking to myself"  or and imaginary friend even. It'll remind me that I'm wrong. And that i can turn to him at anytime and he will hear me. And he will care for me. I am never alone for he is with me. (i'm getting lazy. No lyrics for you. Too long to add some from every song. Just go listen k?)

Right here right now.

eehhhh It's okay i don't have much to say... Maybe i should listen to it more until an opinion forms ahah, I like that he sings about gods perfect timing, Because I've been struggling with that a lot lately.

More of you.
Singing about things becoming clear, And wanting to chase and crave being more like him. About being shown the way and giving up control of life. He rules all. He knows all. Loving him because of knowing he first loved you.... It's a pretty on point song.

Speak to me.
Acknowledging that he's always near. And remembering that signs and proof of this is everywhere and often in everything we see and experience. About wanting to accept know and see these things. He is the only one you "need".... Keep your ears and eyes open.


Back to square one.
 Depends on how you look at it. And that's just another reason to love it. Anyone can like and love these songs. They don't fit into a box and they don't have to. It's pretty great that i can sing for / about god without having to sing about the cross or about things that can't be taken any other way no matter how you look at it. Because sure yeah that's how most praise songs should be... BUT THEY GET OLD. And fast. You try singing about the same things in a million different ways trying to praise and get back to me about how you feel with it not being 100% Jesus Jesus Jesus....
(the bands i mentioned earlier come back into play here btw, Because ya know they're great too and successful and reach a lot of people....save a lot of people.... i truly believe this album will be like that too)


99%
1% body 99% soul, i wanna look like you talk, like you know you more. 1% body 99% soul, make me more like you come on and make me. I remember a time when i never thought i believe. A prisoner to myself like everyone else. thinking life was about me. but then i figured it out.....
( took time to type out lyrics on this one...)

Golden. Just golden ahh. this song  hits me in ways none of the others seemed to. Every song seems to relate in different things and ways. It's fantastic. I see myself running to this album all the time. I've been really into Christian music lately. I'll admit that. It makes my heart happy. So i turn to it a loooooooot. Times have been tough in my head. I've been on a total roller coaster..... But turning to god and or listening to songs that praise him have helped me and my life so much. Things still get hard but i ruly believe i'm in a much better place than i would've been if i hadn't of re accepted religion into my life.

I've even strayed off and on the path a few times this year. But so far so good. I'll be allowed to stray. But I'll never be let go. I haven't re touched on this subject since my skillet post. Because ya know. I don't talk about it often. Or shove it down peoples throats, I want people to read this blog. And i want people to like it. But i also want to be proud of who i am. And truthful about who i am. Afterall it is MY blog. sooooooo if you'r not into this kind of thing i am sorry. Don't let my few posts including these subjects turn you away from everything else. I'm a people pleaser and i know being a christian won't ever be popular. But i'm not going to let myself blend into the crowd just to be liked. My thoughts and my opinions flow freely here. Hopefully my readers are okay with that. If there are any. Ugh crap i did it again..... SORRY I LIKE TO RAMBLE OKAY.

Come alive.
Another great one. One i see myself turning to when i need to keep the fire inside of me alive, When i need to remember what i'm here for. Remember what i want and need to do, Here's another one that works well for anyone. It doesn't have to be about whatever matty is intending it to be about. This is one of the songs on the album that you can have your own take on.

By my side,
It's uhm... it's got a really nice opening. And the sound of it is great. But i don't like the lyrics as much. I don't think the song really fits into the album as much. He sings
We take long drives. no destination in mind. And i don't care where we're goin as long as you're by my side. right by my side is so right.yeah i found the missing piece to my puzzle the first time i saw those dark brown eyes. Now everything i dream of you bring to life oh i I am yours and you are mine. You complete me. I am completely satisfied.
Gonna go out on a limb here and say he's singing about his wife Brittany??? Cause like.... that mentality is the only way i can take this song seriously without laughing. He sings about waking up next to you, And kissing (okay not kissing nbut kind of!? ) blalah blah.... Yeah i think i'm right on this one. Do you?.... Update he posted a video and yes yes the song is about britt xD
I was going by Oh i'll only talk about a few songs... But then i decided to touch base on 1-11....sorry it might be long, also bare with me here on the lyrics I'm going by ear. Also if you read all this.... Bless you. Bless you for wasting your precious time on my thoughts and opinions.  i'd skim through it or ignore it if I were you i wouldn't read it all either.  But hey i really appreciate if you do.

Normal like you.
Another song that's all about perspective. I honestly don't understand it or feel it as much as all the others. It has a few great lines, But in all i kind of dislike it... Because it doesn't flow with the album and the lyrics aren't as strong as the others.

Oh hey look last one, Lucky you.

Glory.

Probably one new comers who don't know matty or mmf and are looking at this solely from a religion perspective will like the most. Like if i picked this album up randomly off the shelf of a christian store i'd probably say this was the one that fit the mold the most. But again that's what i loved about the album. It doesn't fit. BUT IT DOES. The song is a great end to the album as a whole. It's about christ's return. This one is probably the only song that would annoy a MMF fan that bought the album just for matty and doesn't look at it the way he does / the way i do.... Like if i had found this album over a year ago i'd be annoyed with the song and just be like uh yeah oookkaaaayyy
*skips every time*

I want a hard copy of this album fer sure. It's a life changer.... and a game changer. I hope he is able to inspire Fans, Christians, And musicians alike with this album. It's already impacted me, And it's only been in my life for a day.

Stream it here..... https://play.spotify.com/album/44ZRraY7vbaJwtINWSLhp6 You're welcome and goodnight ~chyster.

There's a first for everything,
The past few day's have been such a learning curve of experiences that have seemed to back my lifestyle choices.

First time having band dudes crash at my house, First time selling merch, First time basically getting brought into a 18+ show. (seeing how i wont be 18 for another few days, yeah that was a big deal yo) hahah i'm lame. Honestly i'm at a total loss of words again. Kinda like with Rockville... When i'm so out of my head living my life. I often end up forgetting everything. None of my pictures came out all that great either. I was too in the moment. I was just really happy?  Which is a sign that I enjoyed myself more than often. The downside to this however is that..... I live for writing, And when I can't I feel so so obsolete.
Because all i want to do with my life is capture those moments as best i can. Photos and writing being the best ways to do that, It's kinda hard to do when i can't remember enough. But what i do remember is as follows.

I'm not one for asking for things. So often times things I want pass me by because I don't have the guts to speak up and ask about making it happen.Well not this time no not this time oh. Chyster spoke up and made sure that she got what she wanted this time around. And it ended up being such an amazing experience.
Richard Strater and Justin Daniels seriously some of the best dudes I've ever had the privileged of  meeting,Photographing, becoming friends with, And last but not least let stay at my house for a few nights. (or was lucky enough to be allowed by parentals to let happen..)
And not gonna lie, Already miss the buttmunches. maybe it had  something to do with not being alone and having a reason to wake up that made me so happy.
(i cooked and cleaned, Like holy shit... say what!?)

The show went so great, West end trading company is a great venue. Honestly hoping to attend more shows there in the future. The sound and atmosphere were fantastic. And the employees were awesome too! If you're ever wanting a venue, or even just a place to chill  in downtown Sanford i highly recommend it. I was scared that richard picked a venue i had never heard of before..But it turned out great. i realized that when you're surrounded by someone like the one Justin  has such an open happy personality they tend to rub off an you ya know? I'm still smiling and i really hope this happiness sticks for awhile. Me likes it. I have this outlook on life that he basically helped me put my faith in? I'm gonna mess up, And I'm gonna fail.... even a job i hate has no actual security, so why live a life i hate?  i could fail no matter what i tried to to with my life. So why not try everything i can do to be happy first?
 At least i know this early in life. Before being put down, Or settling for something i didn't want. if i'm happy i don't care if i'm starving or struggling to keep my head above water. I Will and want to do what i love with my life. And i'm gonna do everything i can to go for it. I recently applied for an internship with a venue and promotion company in orlando. And it's an opportunity to learn more about and get paid for everything I've always wanted to do with my life. Promotion, Attending concerts, Booking. blah blah blah Hoping photography and writing can fit in there somewhere too ha
 i'm  at the edge of my damn seat every day waiting to hear back from them. Although i'm probably not the best for the position I know i'd work my ass off for them. I've done most of it all in some way or another before I KNOW I CAN DO IT. And i'd be more passionate about it than anyone else they could find believe me. I just wish the anxiety about it would go away. Anyways I'm getting off track here oops.... Soooo back to everything that this was supposed to be about. Because this trailed off into rambles.

It's been almost a year to the day since i'd have seen Richard previously. (I saw in on my birthday last year) and a few days before this time around. c:
Might i just take some time to say,  Wait who am i kidding... This is my blog i can say whatever i want yeah?
His voice and even his lyrics have improved and i think he's that much closer to the following he deserves. (But then again i feel as if he deserves the world. Because he's someone who would stay humble, That and his songs have so much meaning and emotion behind them. Despite most of the popular crap this days.  And i'd like to think hopefully he'd still have great fan/ friend interaction even if he gets more popular one day. if that's what he decides or wants i believe he can accomplish it. Because let's face it... One of my biggest fears and or pet peeves is bands who stop being able to make time for their fans. Afterall they're where they came from. they're who helped make them..)
 Richard has such a wide un describable vocal range? but if i tried to put it into examples and words.. It kind of reminds me of stained or alice in chains. Maybe even a bit of the fray. And my dad agrees with me on this ha, So if you like them you'd fersure like him too! In my opinion at least, I'm definitely no expert at any of that but i remember a bit from when i did musicals that and i have such a wide ranged musical taste. Not gonna lie tho Justin sounds a lot like Richard so those examples can fit him too? I don't know him or have heard him half as much.... But i remember when he first started singing i was like???? is that you cause it sound like rich xD anyways You can tell he's (they've) come a long way in his (they're) life for it comes out in the lyrics. Pieces of him(ugh them) flow out with every song he sings (okay okay enough of this shit. Just know they sound similar and their songs are similar so it fits both of them... but i am mostly talking about rich here k?) night after night. He sings about things that matter to him. And at the end of the day things like that matter to me. I'm just so happy to back and support such a great person. he has such piercing relateable lyrics. Some of them can fill you with feels if you're not careful. Not gonna lie i might have almost teared up during a few of his songs.
(And kind of cried during one of Justins too. cause i'm a sensitive softy man) and they really hit a nerve with me.
Depending on how ones life has played out, I'm pretty sure you could relate to at least one of his songs in one way or another too and i can't wait to hear more. he has an EP That i believe he'll have coming out soon.  I know he played stuff i haven't heard, And recorded awhile back. So i'm getting kinda antsy for some new tunes.  I have a cd of his old band Lost in the middle.,,, But i'm just really excited to hear him on his own, And to be able to hear the songs he played again.

 I feel like no matter where life takes us. We'll always be supporters and friends. I love that in return for the things I've done for him. Not that i'd ever ask anything of him but to stay true to himself and hopefully always be in my life.....
 he's given me un repayable things like so much faith in myself. whether it's by using my photo, complementing me, coming back to florida when there's way better places out there, Letting me help him out ect ect he's just helped me realize that even if i get nothing else from what i'm trying to do with my life. At least i can say I've gotten to meet someone like him. Along with Justin and many other musicians I've met along the way of this crazy life.
 The passion and the feelings.... Are all that it's about. Who cares if i die trying, At least i can say i tried. And did what i wanted to with my life. This is all I've ever known, And it's all i'll ever be. For better or for worse I'm married to the music. (well the behind the scenes type things anyways)...

I didn't talk to either the boys as much as i'd have liked too. No twenty questions or horrible small talk. Which is usually shrug worthy of anyways,
 i did end up speaking up and opening up more than i had ever expected myself to do. Them staying at my house probably being a big factor in that. But i feel like next time around, God and life willing i get to see them again. (if only it could be soon, Cause damn son for some reason I MISS THEM? uh what.. shh if they ask i didn't say anything d:) I'd  like to think we'd pick up where we left off without awkwardness and with great table conversations over breakfast before they headed off. Because that was pretty great. Not gonna lie. I feel like i really know them, yet i don't at all and this bugs me. How could i feel so close to people i still hardly know anything about? Maybe their music makes me feel like i know them, Maybe i know them better than i think, Maybe sharing a house with them for a few days helped. I dunno but it's nice to be able to call such great people my friends. If I ever start to get more friends in the music industry i bet you anything none of them could compare to the compassion and hearts of Richard and Justin.
I'm a lucky girl to have not only meet them, But to say that i know them. And to have helped them out as best to my abilities. Honestly meant the world to me. No, Means the world to me.
These are times i hope to never forget. After all not many teenagers can say that they cooked breakfast for band dudes home alone (well the first morning anyway)
 two days in a row while they took showers and got ready after sleeping in the room next to her all night at her house. d: Yeah that was too much.... So i'll end at that.

Enough chatter Let's move on to the photos shall we?

Richard Strater :3 

Justin daniels ^_^

for the happiest dude i've probably ever met... He sure does have an angry preforming face. xp But emotion is good! 

i didn't really write about these guys,,, because i forgot the band name oops. But damn she had pipes! C:

this moment when everyone got up and danced made my heart happy.

ahaha i like horrible edits oops.

                                                                                                                                                                                No, Wait, Okay,One last thing....  this is something personal that probably shouldn't be mentioned but i  can't help but want to take the time to thank them for the inspiration. They both wrote my family and I letters that they hung on carefully and sweetly the fridge. They'll stay there for a long ass time....

( i'll probably hang them into my hallway once my family makes me move them lol) I see myself looking at them when times are tough. Or when i need encouragement. Because i'll think of them, And how grateful they were. How upbeat and happy they were to be doing what they loved even tho it's challenging and rough at times.  I look up to them. They may not be too much older than me but i know one day when i'm down i'll find myself pondering how great they are.  And how great they made me feel just by being around them. and hey maybe one day when i'm in they situation i'll smile and think of them... Moral of this ending is, Strive for your dreams. Even if it means starving, sleeping on someones floor, or barely breaking even most days.  Never let that fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Live your life the way you want to, take it day by day and in the end... Everything will work out. And if things are not okay. Then it isn't the end. I have a great life. I need to remind myself of that more often. Maybe they'll help remind me of that. 

Depressions and anxieties, and even society  can be bitches. But i won't let them stop me from being happy, And living.  I can't stay stuck this way forever. And i realized that often times in this life

The best people you could ever find are ones you'd be told not to talk to. Or the ones you'd think to look down upon because of their looks or lifestyle. what do i say to that!? Go say hi to someone you'd never normally talk to, Get pierced and tattooed, Become a starving artist instead of a un happy yet successful doctor, 

 Don't you dare let anyone or anything ever tell you otherwise. And if they disagree fuck what they think. You have every right to be yourself and to be happy. You'll thank yourself for it one day. 

My body is so full of emotion tonight i feel like i might combust....~

First off, Although it technically came second.....

One of my favorite band dudes who I've supported and followed since 2010  Messaged me with his new bands music video..... And I was actually shocked I hadn't noticed it was out yet.-. It just made my heart Warm and fuzzy that he talks to me still. Even after his disappearance from the world, He came back recently new band in tow. And it makes me smile that he cared to find me and get me into his new band.
Which i would've found eventually anyway.
 I love raw fabrics so much. They're creative and different with their look and sound.  The only song out right now is called down the drain and it gets stuck in my head far to often. His old band (Drive A) Is that band that got me where i am today, But if you're a good follower of mine you'd already know that d: I was sad to see them go. And i'll admit i still miss them from time to time but they are all onto bigger and better things and i proudly still support them all in their new projects.
 Not just because they are great people that i love but because the music is great on all levels.
(Jason is in Beachwood coyotes, Taylor in no coast, Bruno who now goes by jack haha being in raw fabrics, And uh not sure about Cody and Robert at the moment but still figured i'd add the bands in case you want to look them up as well)

The link for raw fabric's video song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z61iG78JFk <---- d: it's great.

So there was reason one, Now onto reason two!
 The first Alternative press magazine award show was on tonight. And i was so shocked that we had the channel it was on. I flipped my lid when it came on just because of the fact i could watch it, But it was so freaking crazy and i live tweeted it. Probably saying more than i should have but god bless all my followers for putting up with me. I couldn't contain myself. And now i'm just so all over the dang place.
All these bands mean so much to me, And it is so amazing seeing them all together like this. Alternative isn't as popular as i'd like it to be, But Ap helps it get more of a following. I know not many people cared about what i had/ have to say about tonight. But i realized how much it all means to me.
Lately i keep hearing my dad ask "Job or school" And I cannot answer him because i have literally No idea. Where i'm going to go from 18 or what i'm going to do with my life. But i'm realizing that it needs to be music related. That is where my heart is. Behind the scenes, Writing, vlogging, photographing, Recording, Talking, blah blah blah i want all of it. I just don't know what or how right now. And i'm scared i never will. I have that drive I do. But nobody ever see's it because i'm such a confused slow person as of late. But i'm working on changing that. And i'll do my damnedest to make my life the way i want it. I don't want to have to force myself through school that might not ever get me to where i want to be. Or force myself into a job i hate. My life is sucky enough no thank you. But i know that it might be exactly what I must do to succeed.
How the hell does everyone We fans sitting at home look up to make it to where they are?
Because please if you know tell me your secrets and show me your ways.
It takes hard word, knowing people and starting from the bottom. These are the things i know. But that's not enough to help me get anywhere. And it drives me mad because i actually don't even know where i want to be exactly. I just have this dream and this idea that probably doesn't even freaking exist. I don't see anyone ever caring about what I have to say, Or see people relating to me. Or having fans of my own one day.
Like will someone ever actually be a me one day? Searching for that drive Waiting for that next photo or tweet...... Cause that's something i feel i can only ever dream of. But fuck dreams come true everyday. Right? I hope. And I pray..... That i'll make it somewhere one day.

I don't want to be in the audience forever, I don't want to be a useless speck of dust in the wind forever.
And i need to get my cards in order and work harder on figuring it all out. Someone send help i might die before i ever get anywhere. But at least i'll have died trying.

 https://twitter.com/pr3tty3Vacant3 <---- If you care to see all the dumb things i said about tonight's show feel free to go be a creep. I'd screen shot it all but ugh Lazy, And nobody cares anyway. So there's that.

I feel like originality is dead,

And that the life I want, can't keep me fed.
All these dreams fill my head with countless hours of useless dread.
All words to be written, already said.
Sitting here alone in my bed, I start to wonder.
No sounds to fill the void but the rain and thunder.
There's a storm, and I don't want to be apart of the norm.
Socially awkward, I do my best to carry on ward.
To speak up, and say what's on my mind.
Dealing with life on the grind.
The life I want feels like one I cant have.
Because it's one everyone wants.
To live free, and to die a legend.
Leaving my mark with photos and words.
Sometimes it feels like it'll never be heard.
Or seen.
Smart phones, send aches through my bones.
Ending creativity, and memories.
Hurting my heart, and killing dreams I've had from the start.
How will I ever make it out alive, to show my part.
To thrive. Living life through lenses, different places every night just trying to survive.
That's all I want. But It feels like I'll never be within reach, I want it. I need it. But will it ever be? Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Curiosity killed the cat, and I'm fat, I take up too much space. and I'll be judged in the first place, probably before even making it to first base. I just want To rest my case, and prove you all wrong. I'll get what I want, and I'll find where I've always belonged.

Life on tour would never be a bore, chore after chore, whore after whore, night after night, me verses me will always be the biggest fight. but at the end of the day, it's all up to what the world around me has to say.