wishful thinking.

I've gotten a little taste of going to shows every weekend...And if life works out how i plan i'll have gone to a show four weekends in a row by the end of October... Actually make that five weekends in a row. Because i'm really hoping to finally see the bad suns whom I've been following for years now.

 Last weekend, i was lucky enough to make it out to my favorite band's show. Alesana will be near and dear to my heart no matter what happens or how much my music senses change. I was happy to  see them again.  Getting hugs from jake made me supes happy. I was Front and center again. Screaming my lungs out until my  heart was content. Unfortunately my camera  AND phone both died on me which sucked so much but regardless i was super happy to have gone.


The local opening bands were so much better than i expected and i honestly love them so much now. One of them is a favorite band of mine lately. I find myself singing their songs through out my day. And it's rad that their local And as fate has it... I was able to see them again this weekend.They played a show at west end  with my friends brothers band and i was invited last minute. I love that venue so much. It's such a great atmosphere for local starting up bands.
 (And not so local bands like Richard and Justin who played there last month lol ) That and it helps being merely minutes from my house. I was kind of pissy that they had an up charge of $3 for under 21..... but i paid up and got over it. The shots i got of bothering Dennis and believers of exile made it worth it in the end.


Next weekend i'm hoping to shoot the knowing within, I met their front man Tim at the Alesana show and things just fell into place. Proving to me that things happen for a reason. We talked a bit and i went home and looked up his band. I seriously haven't stopped listening to them. I just can't get enough of the few songs they have posted. The lyrics and sound are so original and relate-able. I have a feeling that even if things don't pull through and i'm not guest listed i'll still try and talk my dad into going to the show because i'm itching to see them. They're right up my alley musically without sounding too much like anything else I've ever heard and lemme tell ya shit like that aint easy.

The weekend after that is the A day to remember parks and desperation tour finally ^_^ I can't wait! The lineup is perfection. And all the bands slay so hard on stage. I'm freaking stoked to see them all again. Hoping that the sold out last night of tour show is as great as the day before....Because oddly enough they're playing two nights in a row!?.... which is rad tbh. I wish tickets for both days were cheaper because i'd be all over that like white on rice brah,


But anyways because i'm proud-ish of them.... here's a few shots from the other night.










                                                                                                                                                                     


 Here's a few of the Believers of exile As well. I gave up on editing them tho because the quality  was getting so killed.
          

So in all i've had two eventful weekends and that makes me pretty darn happy. So here's to hoping my life stays like this! I defiantly dig being out and about as much as i have. It's kept me out of my head and out of my bed. Which is lovely. I've been really doubting myself and my life as of late. But nights like this keep me in check. It's hard to keep my head above water when i hardly feel or act my age.... But i'm getting there. I don't have any great photos from the Alesana show. I was shooting mostly from my phone and it died on me XD but even so none of the photos i got are blog worthy. Besides the ones with the band members but i didn't talk about that all that much so i'll just stick with not posting them. I loved all the bands that night And i'm happy to have gained memories and new bands to swoon over! d: Keep your eyes peeled. I'm hoping to report back next week, I'm hoping to have photos of the knowing within! If it works out that is.,... Fingers crossed but don't get your hopes up. (Basically a note to self on that lol dun wanna jinx it, or get to let down)

There's a first for everything,
The past few day's have been such a learning curve of experiences that have seemed to back my lifestyle choices.

First time having band dudes crash at my house, First time selling merch, First time basically getting brought into a 18+ show. (seeing how i wont be 18 for another few days, yeah that was a big deal yo) hahah i'm lame. Honestly i'm at a total loss of words again. Kinda like with Rockville... When i'm so out of my head living my life. I often end up forgetting everything. None of my pictures came out all that great either. I was too in the moment. I was just really happy?  Which is a sign that I enjoyed myself more than often. The downside to this however is that..... I live for writing, And when I can't I feel so so obsolete.
Because all i want to do with my life is capture those moments as best i can. Photos and writing being the best ways to do that, It's kinda hard to do when i can't remember enough. But what i do remember is as follows.

I'm not one for asking for things. So often times things I want pass me by because I don't have the guts to speak up and ask about making it happen.Well not this time no not this time oh. Chyster spoke up and made sure that she got what she wanted this time around. And it ended up being such an amazing experience.
Richard Strater and Justin Daniels seriously some of the best dudes I've ever had the privileged of  meeting,Photographing, becoming friends with, And last but not least let stay at my house for a few nights. (or was lucky enough to be allowed by parentals to let happen..)
And not gonna lie, Already miss the buttmunches. maybe it had  something to do with not being alone and having a reason to wake up that made me so happy.
(i cooked and cleaned, Like holy shit... say what!?)

The show went so great, West end trading company is a great venue. Honestly hoping to attend more shows there in the future. The sound and atmosphere were fantastic. And the employees were awesome too! If you're ever wanting a venue, or even just a place to chill  in downtown Sanford i highly recommend it. I was scared that richard picked a venue i had never heard of before..But it turned out great. i realized that when you're surrounded by someone like the one Justin  has such an open happy personality they tend to rub off an you ya know? I'm still smiling and i really hope this happiness sticks for awhile. Me likes it. I have this outlook on life that he basically helped me put my faith in? I'm gonna mess up, And I'm gonna fail.... even a job i hate has no actual security, so why live a life i hate?  i could fail no matter what i tried to to with my life. So why not try everything i can do to be happy first?
 At least i know this early in life. Before being put down, Or settling for something i didn't want. if i'm happy i don't care if i'm starving or struggling to keep my head above water. I Will and want to do what i love with my life. And i'm gonna do everything i can to go for it. I recently applied for an internship with a venue and promotion company in orlando. And it's an opportunity to learn more about and get paid for everything I've always wanted to do with my life. Promotion, Attending concerts, Booking. blah blah blah Hoping photography and writing can fit in there somewhere too ha
 i'm  at the edge of my damn seat every day waiting to hear back from them. Although i'm probably not the best for the position I know i'd work my ass off for them. I've done most of it all in some way or another before I KNOW I CAN DO IT. And i'd be more passionate about it than anyone else they could find believe me. I just wish the anxiety about it would go away. Anyways I'm getting off track here oops.... Soooo back to everything that this was supposed to be about. Because this trailed off into rambles.

It's been almost a year to the day since i'd have seen Richard previously. (I saw in on my birthday last year) and a few days before this time around. c:
Might i just take some time to say,  Wait who am i kidding... This is my blog i can say whatever i want yeah?
His voice and even his lyrics have improved and i think he's that much closer to the following he deserves. (But then again i feel as if he deserves the world. Because he's someone who would stay humble, That and his songs have so much meaning and emotion behind them. Despite most of the popular crap this days.  And i'd like to think hopefully he'd still have great fan/ friend interaction even if he gets more popular one day. if that's what he decides or wants i believe he can accomplish it. Because let's face it... One of my biggest fears and or pet peeves is bands who stop being able to make time for their fans. Afterall they're where they came from. they're who helped make them..)
 Richard has such a wide un describable vocal range? but if i tried to put it into examples and words.. It kind of reminds me of stained or alice in chains. Maybe even a bit of the fray. And my dad agrees with me on this ha, So if you like them you'd fersure like him too! In my opinion at least, I'm definitely no expert at any of that but i remember a bit from when i did musicals that and i have such a wide ranged musical taste. Not gonna lie tho Justin sounds a lot like Richard so those examples can fit him too? I don't know him or have heard him half as much.... But i remember when he first started singing i was like???? is that you cause it sound like rich xD anyways You can tell he's (they've) come a long way in his (they're) life for it comes out in the lyrics. Pieces of him(ugh them) flow out with every song he sings (okay okay enough of this shit. Just know they sound similar and their songs are similar so it fits both of them... but i am mostly talking about rich here k?) night after night. He sings about things that matter to him. And at the end of the day things like that matter to me. I'm just so happy to back and support such a great person. he has such piercing relateable lyrics. Some of them can fill you with feels if you're not careful. Not gonna lie i might have almost teared up during a few of his songs.
(And kind of cried during one of Justins too. cause i'm a sensitive softy man) and they really hit a nerve with me.
Depending on how ones life has played out, I'm pretty sure you could relate to at least one of his songs in one way or another too and i can't wait to hear more. he has an EP That i believe he'll have coming out soon.  I know he played stuff i haven't heard, And recorded awhile back. So i'm getting kinda antsy for some new tunes.  I have a cd of his old band Lost in the middle.,,, But i'm just really excited to hear him on his own, And to be able to hear the songs he played again.

 I feel like no matter where life takes us. We'll always be supporters and friends. I love that in return for the things I've done for him. Not that i'd ever ask anything of him but to stay true to himself and hopefully always be in my life.....
 he's given me un repayable things like so much faith in myself. whether it's by using my photo, complementing me, coming back to florida when there's way better places out there, Letting me help him out ect ect he's just helped me realize that even if i get nothing else from what i'm trying to do with my life. At least i can say I've gotten to meet someone like him. Along with Justin and many other musicians I've met along the way of this crazy life.
 The passion and the feelings.... Are all that it's about. Who cares if i die trying, At least i can say i tried. And did what i wanted to with my life. This is all I've ever known, And it's all i'll ever be. For better or for worse I'm married to the music. (well the behind the scenes type things anyways)...

I didn't talk to either the boys as much as i'd have liked too. No twenty questions or horrible small talk. Which is usually shrug worthy of anyways,
 i did end up speaking up and opening up more than i had ever expected myself to do. Them staying at my house probably being a big factor in that. But i feel like next time around, God and life willing i get to see them again. (if only it could be soon, Cause damn son for some reason I MISS THEM? uh what.. shh if they ask i didn't say anything d:) I'd  like to think we'd pick up where we left off without awkwardness and with great table conversations over breakfast before they headed off. Because that was pretty great. Not gonna lie. I feel like i really know them, yet i don't at all and this bugs me. How could i feel so close to people i still hardly know anything about? Maybe their music makes me feel like i know them, Maybe i know them better than i think, Maybe sharing a house with them for a few days helped. I dunno but it's nice to be able to call such great people my friends. If I ever start to get more friends in the music industry i bet you anything none of them could compare to the compassion and hearts of Richard and Justin.
I'm a lucky girl to have not only meet them, But to say that i know them. And to have helped them out as best to my abilities. Honestly meant the world to me. No, Means the world to me.
These are times i hope to never forget. After all not many teenagers can say that they cooked breakfast for band dudes home alone (well the first morning anyway)
 two days in a row while they took showers and got ready after sleeping in the room next to her all night at her house. d: Yeah that was too much.... So i'll end at that.

Enough chatter Let's move on to the photos shall we?

Richard Strater :3 

Justin daniels ^_^

for the happiest dude i've probably ever met... He sure does have an angry preforming face. xp But emotion is good! 

i didn't really write about these guys,,, because i forgot the band name oops. But damn she had pipes! C:

this moment when everyone got up and danced made my heart happy.

ahaha i like horrible edits oops.

                                                                                                                                                                                No, Wait, Okay,One last thing....  this is something personal that probably shouldn't be mentioned but i  can't help but want to take the time to thank them for the inspiration. They both wrote my family and I letters that they hung on carefully and sweetly the fridge. They'll stay there for a long ass time....

( i'll probably hang them into my hallway once my family makes me move them lol) I see myself looking at them when times are tough. Or when i need encouragement. Because i'll think of them, And how grateful they were. How upbeat and happy they were to be doing what they loved even tho it's challenging and rough at times.  I look up to them. They may not be too much older than me but i know one day when i'm down i'll find myself pondering how great they are.  And how great they made me feel just by being around them. and hey maybe one day when i'm in they situation i'll smile and think of them... Moral of this ending is, Strive for your dreams. Even if it means starving, sleeping on someones floor, or barely breaking even most days.  Never let that fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Live your life the way you want to, take it day by day and in the end... Everything will work out. And if things are not okay. Then it isn't the end. I have a great life. I need to remind myself of that more often. Maybe they'll help remind me of that. 

Depressions and anxieties, and even society  can be bitches. But i won't let them stop me from being happy, And living.  I can't stay stuck this way forever. And i realized that often times in this life

The best people you could ever find are ones you'd be told not to talk to. Or the ones you'd think to look down upon because of their looks or lifestyle. what do i say to that!? Go say hi to someone you'd never normally talk to, Get pierced and tattooed, Become a starving artist instead of a un happy yet successful doctor, 

 Don't you dare let anyone or anything ever tell you otherwise. And if they disagree fuck what they think. You have every right to be yourself and to be happy. You'll thank yourself for it one day.